28. r/antiwork. "Sometimes people say, 'Do I try to make audiences think?' Whenever some boomer try's to lecture you about how their first job in the 60s they only made $3 an hour, just remember, $3 in 1969 had the equivalent buying power as $25.01 today. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. ", 104. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, What if there were no hypothetical questions? George Carlin, The planet is fine. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.' Occupy Wall Street activist completely SLAMS FOX News | An unaired interviewfootage, Brand spanking new memes of Bernie Sanders at theInauguration, Bernie Sanders as Grogu (Baby Yoda) from TheMandalorian, The best of Bernie Sanders memes from BidensInauguration, Obama was better at everything Video comparison Obama vstrump, Lindsey Graham states that African Americans can go anywhere in SC as long as theyre conservative, The best description of trump Ive seenyet, Woman with Fake Boobs Larger than Watermelons - Seriously, she's a Z-cup, Houston TX Officer on Trial for Stealing Food from Fridge, The Princeton Random Generator that "predicted" 9/11, The Top 20 Things You Can Say to Irritate a Republican, Popular Toys and Games from the 1970s and 1980s, The Return of Debtors' Prisons - SLUniverse Forums. This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. They dont wanna hear from you. "Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean that the circus has left town. The game is rigged. You'd have people tuning in don't even care about football! 234. I like people who buck the system. You don't. You have no choice! He loves you, and He needs money! The Bachelorette's Angie Kent and Carlin Sterritt have been on holiday together in Vietnam the past week and sharing lots of glamorous selfies. ", 7. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and "There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. You dont. I'm a cowboy who . Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. Over time, though, his success grew. Try spelling Evian backward. "Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. ", 88. "A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed. That is against their interests. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. You have owners. Others see it half empty. ", 68. This cookie is used to manage the interaction with the online bots. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent, civilized human beings in the 21st Century. They own you. "Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. The GUC cookie is set by Yahoo for Yahoo conversion tracking. This cookie is associated with Yahoo Search Analytics and is used for advertising purposes. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. It seems only right. ", 53. AA: George Carlin can say some outrageous things -- years ago the US Supreme Court found his "seven filthy words" monolgue "indecent." RS: But when he stopped at the National Press Club in. Good honest hard-working people white collar, blue collar, it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. That's what the owners count on; the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes everyday. This cookie is used by PwC to track individual visitors and their use of site. AddThis sets this cookie to ensure that the updated count is seen when one shares a page and returns to it, before the share count cache is updated. This is one of the greatest social and political commentaries of the modern era. Its a subconscious need to project the penis into other peoples affairs. This cookie is set by Segment to help track visitor usage, events, target marketing, and also measure application performance and stability. You don't. You have no choice. Related: When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. ", 34. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks. He always needs money! This cookie is set by the BlueConic. They don't care about you at all -- at all -- at all. This cookie stores a visitor's unique identifier for Chartbeat tracking on the site. This cookie is set by the provider Akamai Bot Manager. ", 96. Carlin had 14 comedy specials, several published books and CDs, 5 Grammy awards, many TV and movie roles, and the title of being the first-ever host of Saturday Night Live, all under his belt. ""I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. "Men are from. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public Sucks. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin years ago. This cookie, set by Cloudflare, is used to support Cloudflare Bot Management. 'They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. "It helps to remember this.. It was during the waning of the Nixon years, where confidence in government was beginning its slide down to the Stygian depths where it rests today; the Vietnam War, and racial unrest, continued to rage on. This cookie is set by Eloqua. Bing sets this cookie to recognize unique web browsers visiting Microsoft sites. "War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. "Atheism is a non-prophet organization. A 2018 survey by the Pew Research Center reports that less than half the country says elected officials care what . Carlin is funny as hell. "If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? The Great George Carlin. If a dog can do it, you can watch. This cookie is used for advertising, site analytics, and other operations. "I put a dollar in a change machine. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. '", 73. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. "Everyone smiles in the same language. Everybody says they suck. G eorge Carlin was ahead of his time. This cookie is managed by Amazon Web Services and is used for load balancing. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? ", 86. ", 125. I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. After that, they don't want to know about you. This cookie is associated with Django web development platform for python. Save the planet; we dont even know how to take care of ourselves yet. "In America, anyone can become president. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". Set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category . ALEX COHEN, host: Carlin died yesterday of heart failure. Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. I took his shoes. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. They own you. You have owners. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. ", 5. Bluekai uses this cookie to build an anonymous user profile with data like the user's online behaviour and interests. Teach them to question everything. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? Politics Notify me about new: Board Topics. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. They want your fuckin retirement money. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. Everybody complains about politicians. ", 9. You don't. You have no choice. You have owners. The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) We're all fucked," Carlin once said. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Scorecard Research sets this cookie for browser behaviour research. ", 105. It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? Am I right? Weve also included some of his sketches from YouTube, viral videos of jokes you might have heard once or twice before. With his daring satirical jokes, his words will make you laugh and make you think profoundly about everything you experience. ", 46. "People always tell me 'Have a nice day.' "When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. This cookie is used for identifying the geographical location by country of the user. And apparently, I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president. They own you. This cookie is set by the provider The Guardian. The Romantic Comedy You Should Watch This Valentines Day, Based On Your ZodiacSign, Valentines Day Streaming Guide: The Best Rom-Coms To Binge On Netflix, HBO Max, AndMore, How Narcissists Use Dog Whistling To Covertly Abuse You: Signs Of This Dangerous ManipulationMethod, 11 Christmas Movies To Watch If Youre Dealing With Heartbreak Over TheHolidays. ", 102. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. The demdex cookie, set under the domain demdex.net, is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains. The test_cookie is set by doubleclick.net and is used to determine if the user's browser supports cookies. It does not store any personal data. The domain of this cookie is owned by Nielsen. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. ", 4. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. A cat's "meow" can be a "woof" for him. ", 11. "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. Theyre not interested in that. "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? Determines whether the visitor has accepted the cookie consent box. A cat . ", 113. ", 32. Associated with Amazon Web Services and created by Elastic Load Balancing, AWSELB cookie is used to manage sticky sessions across production servers. "Governments don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. ", 95. The JSESSIONID cookie is used by New Relic to store a session identifier so that New Relic can monitor session counts for an application. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. At all. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. 01. LinkedIn sets this cookie from LinkedIn share buttons and ad tags to recognize browser ID. You voted them in. ", 61. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. Thats the problem.
