Cassie Lynn: That may be what happened, but that won't be what the people believe. I tried to help you! College Problems Student Problems Carl Otis Winslow: Might have. Carl Otis Winslow: You know son, if Screwing Up ever became an Olympic event. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. Eddie: I don't see what getting beat up is gonna prove. If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. Bye! If all you ever look for is the float with Miss America on it, then the whole parade is going to pass you by. And believe you me, I know what being different is all about. Well, why didn't you tell me? Laura: [grabbing his arm] Ooh! Steve Urkel: What? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Carl] Worse. Harriette Winslow: So how're things back home? Carl Otis Winslow: He's trouble. And you taught Cassie Lynn Nubbles, the posterchild for useless people, how to do things for herself. Laura Lee Winslow: Tonight is the charity bachelor auction. Cassie Lynn: Becky Sue! Steve Urkel: Oh, I'd better lock it then! Why, because of you, he's swapping recipes with Wolfgang Puck. Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. Steve Urkel: Oh, Laura, my love. Harriette Winslow: I am not! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Was I ever! I wanna show you something. and-so-the-balance-shifts-blog. Laura Lee Winslow: [reading note] 'If you want black history, go back to Africa'. aries: "You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied. Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. Steve Urkel: You didn't even make it onto the chart! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. Steve Urkel: Is there anything I can do for you while I'm down here waiting? Stefan Urkelle: Oh no, I didn't shut off the machine on time. Laura Lee Winslow: If I hadn't started that petition, none of this would've happened. Eddie: I'm the one who's taking the test. Curtis Williams: I'm Curtis Williams. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Eddie] Man, they didn't even know who we were. I never got an 'A' before. Laura Lee Winslow: [after Steve gives her a ring] This is real! Waldo: Just the stuff Steve told me to say. [Pulls Steve to other side of room] Steven, last semester I specifically asked you what class you would not be taking this semster and you told me HOME EC! YOU'RE WHERE? Steve Urkel: Hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, oh look, it's Laura! You have the right to have an attorney present. You trifled with my emotions! And I like the Red Sox. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [told he can't go to the party] You mean I was nice for nothing? The hot chocolate will be ready soon. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh honey, I hope they don't cheer too hard. Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! Harriette Winslow: She's still pretty upset, she wouldn't even touch her dinner. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well hold on there big guy, listen to this. But you know what, I find her very attractive. Allison: Look, we're just having a little harmless fun. This is amazing! Suppose I made it happen. There's no justification for this behavior! Oh when he shows up, it's amputation time. I"m going to the mall to hand out gifts to orphans kids. [Puts his jacket on and heads to the Door], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! Carl Otis Winslow: [to the racist cop who pulled Eddie over] You know, I don't know how that badge stays up, because it's pinned to sludge. That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! Carl Otis Winslow: [ordering in a coffee shop] Just a bearclaw and a coffee. Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. Rachel Crawford: Well, I'm planning dinner for a very, very special friend. It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, do you mind if your old grandmother tells you a story? then removes his hand]. [just got lemon tart filling thrown at him]. [Eddie comes crashing through the living room in the car], [Stefan did not take his "cool boost" for that week - he wants to turn back into Steve]. Steve Urkel: By any chance, is that something you enjoy? Carl: Okay, you read the instructions, while I add all the pieces. [laughs]. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. Steve Urkel: Well, isn't that just a FIIIINE kettle of fish? Carl: I don't have to take this, I'm going home! Would you care to heal them with a kiss? I love ya too much to build you a dud! You think it's funny to spike somebody's punch and watch them act like a fool. Clarence: [walking into the Winslow house] Well if it ain't the Partridge family. At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. Harriette you're the one who said you're fat. Rachel Crawford: Well at least we know where it is. Steve Urkel: Laura, this is a a really special moment and well, I think we should celebrate it by getting married. Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! Lady in Strip Club: Shut up and shake your booty! Eddie Winslow, front and center! It's a cool chamber. Carl Otis Winslow: Laura, what's going on in here? Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Please, my little Rapunzel. [heads for the stairs - Carl grabs him by his suspenders] I almost got ya there, Carl. Myra Monkhouse: Eddie, Waldo? Is that the problem? I felt like I was one with the Bee-Oh-Sphere. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You won't be sorry, sir. Darnell Watkins: [about Carl] This guy's about invisible. Harriette Winslow: Carl Winslow, this is the most insensitive, unromantic gift I have ever received. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [shocked] And he brought hooters! A bee to a blossom. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I'm missing the parade. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Weasel, you are the last person who should be giving me advice about girls. [someone has just smashed into Lt. Murtaugh's classic car]. You're acting like animals! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I feel so safe in Raoul's strong arms I love him soo much and I sorta like Carl. You are such a sweetheart. While a miserable Eddie has to play checkers with Steve. Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to convince his boss that using Urkelbot is a bad idea] But Sir, you and I have been to the Police Academy. They help move along our sentences. Snap, Sidekick: [with the Serpents] All the doo-dah day. Lt. Murtaugh: I dropped the, uh, nerd off next door at the, uh, nerd house. From now on, no parties and no TV. We are properly trained. She actually said, "Human Being". I wish I'd never done it. I'm wearin' you down baby, I'm wearin' you DOWWWWNN! I can't afford a B on my permanent record. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: What'cha gonna do, Willie? Steve Urkel: Ssssh, not while I'm pouring. Stefan Urquelle. You've got twenty-four hours to drop out of the race or we publish the picture. Steve Urkel: [as Waldo hands Steve a cup of the spiked punch] Why should I Laura, I'm the pife of the larty! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why aren't you? People stopped and starred, called me names, and some even spit at me. Steve Urkel: Thanks. Steve Urkel: What? Lt. Murtaugh: Keep the pace, Mr. Backwards Hat! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But you humilate me everyday. Steve Urkel: Well the good news is, my dad will do the operation for you. You're so beautiful, you take their breath away. Carl Otis Winslow: Look at it again, Harriette. Because check this out buddy, you're alone. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Oh they love the new me. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. You kissed me. You had two whole days to forget where it was. Join. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. The man was open all day! Grab a blanket and go sleep in the bathtub. Why are you guys dressed like that? Ms. Steuben: Yeah, well Steven, you're not taking Home Ec. Steve Urkel: Oh, I see. Harriette Winslow: [feigns being touched] Oh, Carl this is beautiful. That's all. And OOHHH, and him! Cassie Lynn: Look, Becky Sue. I rushed her to the emergency room and the doctor said she has walking pneumonia. My parents would only take Steve if Steve's parents promised to take me. Steve Urkel: Well, what if you trip or something? Nobody threatens my woman! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Aww that's cute. Introducing yourself to someone new is always scary, whether you're on an app or in person, since the possibility of rejection is part of the deal. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, that kid is bad news. Look, Steve. Oh, yes it is! And if you call me names, do I not eat? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Yeah, I went to sleep and Stevil made a guest appearance. Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. Carl Otis Winslow: Tomorrow. Laura Lee Winslow: Did they let you take one? Ms. Steuben: Oh, good. Laura: By being born first. I'm cooking breakfast. Heapingly, overflowingly, full! Will you marry me? Stefan Urkelle: Where did you learn all that? He interruped my phone call meant for Laura. All the doo da day. In the latter half of Family Matters, Steve started staying with the Winslows as his parents didn't want him around. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to a sorority girl] That dress is so tight! Why he showed great strength of character and what's his reward: you fire him. She imforms Maxine that Steve is safe and Rachel has just taken him home], Willie Fuffner: See officer, everything is fine. Carl Otis Winslow: Well sweetheart, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should do something about it. Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. Steve, what happened? Laura: Not when the bomb is in the basement with you! Carl was his horse. My head pops out! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Listen, Melissa may not be a cover girl. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Tries to hold Eddie from pounding their friends] Eddo. Harriette Winslow: You hit my husband again and you'll have to answer to me. When are you going to the store? Steve Urkel: Look, I know the pay is lousy, the hours are long, and you hardly ever get the credit you deserve. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Laura] Sugar, I realize you're having a hard time, but you've got to stand up for whatever you believe in, or things will never change. Laura Lee Winslow: Let's just take that risk. If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I know that I'm not worthy of you, but I just can't help loving you. "Tomorrow Dad!" Steve Urkel: I have to tell you, Mr. Winslow. Carl: Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. Harriette Winslow: And you think I'm FAT? Laura Lee Winslow: You couldn't check out a book? Did I do that? On the way to the Sizzle Club, I took a little detour to the precinct. And even then I knew it wasn't right. Rachel Crawford: Good. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Willie Makeit? Waldo: Don't do it, Urkel! Carl: You know, bowling was a great idea. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: L means lousy. 2023. The truth is you deserve a kiss. Ms. Steuben: [after seeing Waldo's assignment] Waldo, this is superior work.
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