Even if youre talking about an ex and saying how much better things are now that youre with this new guy or how much more attentive he was at the beginning of your relationship, dont do it. Dont give reasons about what went wrong because men typically hate complaining or blaming. 5. When it comes down to it, however, assuming things will only get you further confused and upset when there is nothing wrong at all. 2. My boyfriend can't stay hard during sex. In fact, this sign is one of the things by which you can detect a problem in your relationship. Before taking out your frustrations on him, consider these possible reasons why your boyfriend has lost interest. If your intimacy levels have dropped since that promotion he got at work, or you just feel like hes not being very affectionate with you anymore, there is a possibility that he is cheating. Undersexed and expecting couples, Rapini suggest, should focus on other forms of intimacy. You may try intimate games or role-playing if you want some excitement. If you arent meeting your boyfriends emotional needs, then he may not feel a desire to be intimate with you. These are the kinds of concerns that may come up because of memories, beliefs, or even worries that he has about something that happened to him in the past that involved touch. If this is happening within your relationship, then it may mean that something is seriously wrong with him. He could already have decided to leave the relationship and didnt want to let you know just yet by avoiding any possible confrontations about it. But today I want to discuss this common complaint in detail after receiving it so often recently in my office. He has a physical issue he cant help. Be honest about your feelings and give specific examples. If you become a harder-to-get girl in sex, he will want you more. If your boyfriend doesnt seem interested in you sexually anymore, read on to find out what can be done about this situation. Sometimes people just need some time away from each other even if they really love one another. Reply 3. If you cant remember when it was, its time to change that! I highly recommend booking an appointment with a couples therapist or a sex therapist. However, some individuals interpret this as a sign that their partner does not love them anymore or the opposite: they feel guilty, thinking that they are doing something wrong and start pleasing their partner excessively just so they feel wanted again even if they dont want to have intimacy at all. Thats why its so important that you never physically push yourself on him, even if its something as simple as a kiss or a touch. A difficult childbirth may also cause loss of desire, and new mums may be so overwhelmed by caring for a new baby that they lose themselves for a while. The problem is, I love cuddling and touching, so how do I get him to be more affectionate? Has your boyfriend seemed unlike himself lately? Most people are not comfortable sharing their thoughts on the topic of sex, let alone talking about it with someone they love. I know its the last thing you want to hear but one of the reasons your boyfriend may not seem interested in you anymore sexually is just because hes not turned on by you anymore. First of all, you want your man to really desire you, not just take you for granted or think that you will always be available when he wants it. Tell him that something is wrong and that you want to know what is going on in his mind when he decides not to touch you (or initiate sex). The main thing that you have to remember is that there can be a lot of different reasons why he might avoid touching/intimacy with someone else, including yourself. Depression, Anxiety, Stress or something else - we are here to help! In other words, men want to feel like theyre doing their job as a man. This is often a sign that he's checked out of the relationship, and it means he most likely stopped being into you in that way a long time ago. Its not uncommon for people to wish they were single again; we often forget how much energy it takes to maintain a relationship, and after an extended period of time, the excitement and newness start wearing off. It's hard to hide how we really feel from the people closest to us. Often, the man himself has no idea whats going on, but he can easily be educated on how to bring pleasure to his partner. Sometimes people simply dont want to forgive easily after a big fight, but instead prefer silent treatment. Ever since then, it's become harder and harder for my husband to climax, to the point where sex seems like a long, exhausting process, and not in a good way. A man who usually initiates sex and tries to do everything possible to make you happy might become distant if he has an affair. Why he went from hot to cold for apparently no reason; What it means when he always says hes tired; Why he seems bored with your body but eyes up other women 24/7; What to do to crank the intimacy back up to 11; Why you should never blame yourself or try too hard to get him back into you. Encourage him to embrace it, that you like it when he does. When we spend a lot of time with someone, we usually notice pretty quickly when something isn't right. For years I was convinced it was true for 99% of guys until I started experiencing the exact opposite problem. Whatever reason he gives you for his lack of sexual interest, remember that men are sensitive too, even if they dont show it. While some men may want their partner to take charge, others feel threatened if their girlfriend initiates intimacy. A woman with a flat tummy and big chest? Now and then, surprise him by getting dolled up just for him! But showing him every day that hes a priority will help keep him excited about being your partner and wanting to spend time with you physically, too. If you are looking for a naughty trick to try on your man, this is the perfect option because it can be done via text or voice message. It could also be that you two have drifted apart, and hes unsure if he can rekindle the spark between you two. From there, you can both agree on something that will make him feel more comfortable and work on it together. RELATED:How To Fix A Sexless Marriage Before It's Too Late. He Has Experienced Some Recent Trauma. The problem is you two are just avoiding it (ie, "drop me off at home", not talking and asking him what the problem is). This may even be the reason why your boyfriend refuses to touch you. You feel like youre doing something wrong or that theres something wrong with you. Also Try: Does My Husband Care About Me Quiz 20 warning signs he doesn't care about you. Communicating about what you like and dislike in an intimate relationship can make a big difference for everyone involved. This is a common issue in relationships. Its not usually the most likely reason, but its something you should check first. He doesnt feel confident about his body. 4. For the first time in my life I'm in a sexless relationship. Too many dates with Pamela Handerson can drain the sex drive like a popped balloon. A few compliments are bound to go a long way. Tired of having sex in the bedroom? In cases like these, its best not to try and pursue things further because you might feel offended if he doesnt want to be intimate. I'm beyond frustrated. If youre wondering whether your boyfriend will ever touch you again it can be an awful feeling. He no longer wants to be intimate with me although I make the advances. "It's one thing not to be attracted to your wife, but if you're not intimate anymore, well, that's going to be a problem." If hes always the one who initiates he can start to feel like youre not into it and turn his attention everywhere. As a matter of fact, this would tell you that there is something going on in his mind that is causing him not to think clearly. If he isnt physically attracted to you anymore, theres no way hell be interested in anything else. You can make clear that he has nothing to worry about by telling him how much pleasure he has given you in the past. "Touch is important. The times I try to inciate intimacy with my husband he doesn't want to. This may not happen every day (or even every week), but you should feel like its something that can happen at any time. Hes already getting his fix. You might do this. If you consistently feel unwanted and its damaging your confidence, its time to take action. Intimacy is also about being close to someone, emotionally and physically. Your boyfriend might not want the same future as you do. Its more just trying out things you would want to do anyway because hell love how great you look and your exciting new appearance. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track. Right after the first session, your intimate problems wont get better right away, but they will get better with time. But if you have never felt attracted to him, and if your lack of interest in sex. 19 Reasons Why Hes Not Texting You, 89 Happy Sunday Blessings To Wish Those You Care About A Beautiful Day, Guys, Dont Ignore These 17 Signs Of An Emotionally Immature Woman, 31 Ridiculous Things Covert Narcissists Say in an Argument. It is normal if your sex life gets boring after a certain period of time, so its the right time to spice it up. When someone experiences trauma, their focus may shift to coping with and recovering from it, leaving little mental or emotional energy for other areas of their life, including their sex life. Vague complaints can often be misinterpreted by men, who may attach the wrong meaning to the words. If youre lying awake at night worrying my boyfriend doesnt seem interested in me sexually then you want to know how to fix it. While more common for older men, younger guys can still deal with these problems. Encourage your boyfriend to get treatment and help if hes suffering from anxiety or depression. Dont settle for being deprived of intimacy in your relationship. If you want to keep your man, make sure youre working on keeping the romance alive every single day. They may be able to give you some insight into whats going on and how to fix it. Giving him compliments and putting in the effort to show you find him sexy might be all he needs to get excited about you again. If he has to work for it, he will appreciate it much more than if you just gave him sex without any resistance. This is an unfortunate fact of life for many guys, especially in our Tinder age of swipes and endless variety. Go ahead and experiment with sex toys! Maybe hes too anxious or insecure to express his feelings towards you, making it hard for him to feel comfortable enough to be intimate. Im Not Attracted to My Boyfriend Anymore: What Could Be Wrong? If your boyfriend is always disinterested or even completely avoids sex with you, that is something you need to address. He has difficulty getting erections on a regular basis. The reason for this cold-shoulder treatment might not be anything to do with you, but there might be something going on in your partners life that is preventing him from wanting to get close to anyone at the moment. Raise your hand if youve heard that one before. Sex blogger tells hapless men why their wives aren't having sex with them - and how to change that. GOT a story? As painful as it can be, it's important to notice if this is happening in your relationship. This is generally not an issue unless hes a bit older in age, but it is possible that hes having a decrease in his testosterone levels and issues with blood pressure and other problems that can sap the sex drive. He wants to avoid disappointing you as the woman he loves. He doesn't know you want it Long-term relationships go through ups and downs. Whatever the case may be, both of you need to talk about this openly and honestly so that you can bridge the gap and get back on track. Your perfect man should have his own mission in life, which is more important than being with you forever. Have you noticed he rarely touches you, but you catch him staring at other women? However, its essential that youre not pushy or needy when trying to discover why he doesnt want you sexually at the moment. You dont necessarily have to go all the way, but you must show him that sex isnt something he can get so easily and often. Another sign that your boyfriend wont touch me is when he lacks interest or desire for sex. When couples first date, it's like they only exist for each other. This way, your intimate life can be spontaneous again, rather than planned around your fatigue or stress levels. RING The Sun on 0207 782 4104 or WHATSAPP on 07423720250 or EMAIL exclusive@the-sun . Read Also: Im Not Attracted to My Boyfriend Anymore: What Could Be Wrong? No matter how old you are, there is no shame in getting pleasure from adult novelties like add-ons for sexual pleasure. His stress levels are high Men are interesting creatures. Heres How You Know The Difference, Wondering What You Should Do Today? Life and sex can be complicated and emotional- subjects, and he may sometimes need a bit of space to open up as well as the certainty that its OK to talk about whats going wrong with him. Ask like a loving girlfriend who just wants to know whats up and why hes not into sex lately. This means that my boyfriend wont touch me anymore or doesnt love me anymore. Instead of finding flaws with your figure, talk about all of the things that make you feel beautiful! In this case, it is best to be understanding and start slow massage can be very intimate. When someone stops being attracted to you, all those little quirks become increasingly annoying, and they may even make your formerly chill significant other get snippy with you. Either together or with the help of a therapist, couples should discuss their views on masturbation in their relationship and come to an agreement that both parties feel comfortable with.. I will go to touch him and he moves my hand away or just walks away. Its nothing personal, so give him time to adjust to his new workload. A loss of interest in sex can be caused by stress, health issues, low self-esteem, or mental health issues. "Lots of tongue action and wet lips lead to a wet face, and unless your partner considers that a turn on, you're probably going overboard," Kayla Lords, writer and sex expert for Jack . Talking is important. Sex isnt always going to feel mind-blowing, while every move feels totally natural and right. If you havent heard of Relationship Hero before, its a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations. Therefore it would be a good idea to discuss the situation with him and find out what it is thats bothering him. Pick somewhere that is likely to have no interruptions - some people like to have tough conversations by going for a walk somewhere quiet. Maybe your boyfriend feels like hes unable to please you. Together, you and your boyfriend can try to address what's causing his change in desire. So, heres what to do when you dont feel desired by your boyfriend. In fact, if he cannot decide even simple things, then this should raise some concern as well. If your partner is willing to go with you, set up an appointment with a therapist to talk about the boundaries of physical intimacy. If you have been noticing that your boyfriend has no desire for intimacy lately, this could be one of the major culprits. Sometimes, you may work hard to get your relationship better and back to regular sex life but still fail. In fact, he starts to barely even get turned on by it and want something new.. It is best that you initiate intimacy for yourself. No matter what it is, youre not in the mood for sex right now if hes brought it up before, and youve said no, theres a good chance that you will keep saying no unless something changes. Wondering how to put an end to his dry spell? Maybe youve noticed he has been withdrawn emotionally as well as sexually. This doesnt mean you gained weight or look bad or anything else. Light his fire and watch the fireworks explode. You didn't mention the length of your relationship. This should be a red flag to you because the lack intimate activity between the two of you will soon lead to problems in your relationship. I love this man sooo much and I want to marry him more than anything in the world but I am not sure that I can go the rest of my life without having sex. Resistance can be anything from initiating sex at a different time of day, turning him down once or twice before sleeping with him once or twice (that is an important rule that women often forget), wearing sexy lingerie, or just being less available than usual when he wants something to happen sexually. This issue is caused by many different factors. Whether its with strippers, escorts, a woman at work, or just a friend, if hes cheating on you then you deserve to know. Try to encourage activities that help him relax when he gets home, such as going for a walk together or inviting friends around for dinner. If your boyfriend is having erectile and sex drive issues but also doesnt know why then the best idea is to visit an urologist and find out whats wrong. If he doesnt want to love you anymore and theres no way over that hurdle then sometimes its best to move on. Most of you need your space from time to time, especially after a big fight with your partner. When having a conversation with him, does he get distant? If your boyfriend is having physical issues then he doesnt seem into you sexually because his physical body isnt responding normally to stimuli. Stay calm and allow him time to express his concerns as well. All of a sudden he needs lots of "space" in the relationship. Hes feeling unsure about your relationship, or there is an unresolved issue thats bothering him. If youve stopped initiating sex with him, there is always the chance that he will interpret this as your loss of interest in him and his body. "Diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity, fatigue, smoking, high cholesterol, advanced age, or a host of other illnesses may bring about ED . Communicate clearly about what you like and pay attention to what turns him on. This might be uncomfortable, but it is essential to break down any emotional barriers hurting your sex life. It seems that many people have this idea that for a relationship to be healthy and fulfilling, there needs to be regular sexual activity between partners. First things first open up lines of communication when it comes to touch within your relationship. Several times he's asked for a hand/blowjob but doesn't touch me throughout and once he finishes he just goes to sleep despite me asking if he would be able to play with me a bit as I get excited touching him. If there is a time when he does not want to have sex with you, then the best thing that you can do is talk to him and find out whats going on and why he doesnt seem interested in having an intimate moment with you anymore. Sometimes we like to jump to conclusions and assume that we know whats going on in our partners mind. He just won't be as likely to initiate or take you up on the offer as frequently as he may otherwise. You might feel like your relationship is doomed if your boyfriend doesnt want you sexually anymore, but that isnt true. Another sign would be his inability to make decisions without consulting you first. 5) You feel something is "off" with her. That hes satisfying the woman he cares about. If he makes vague statements like being busy at work or generally stressed try not to push the subject. What You Should Never Say or Do If You See the Signs He Doesnt Want You Sexually, 17 Steal-Worthy Thank You Letters To Your Boyfriend To Let Him Know You Appreciate All He Does, Are They A Twin Flame Or Soulmate? I shouldn't have to ask for it. Just make him feel special in some way every day, whether its surprising him with his favorite takeout or taking a minute to kiss him before you run out the door. Does your boyfriend not try to do romantic things for you? He is suffering from a mental health issue. Kindly ask him what's getting in the way of intimacy. Lifestyle. If your boyfriend wants to wait and doesnt seem into you sexually it could just be that hes very shy about sex or believes you should wait until marriage. 5. Just because your boyfriend is disinterested in you sexually now doesnt mean it will last forever. We have been together for 3 months now and we haven't had sex at all. If you find. Perhaps you think you look fabulous enough to turn any mans head without much effort but not everyone else sees it that way. If he responds immediately and hungrily, its on! They may also experience feelings of shame or guilt, which can further inhibit their sexual desire. The following are possible reasons why your boyfriend has lost interest in your sex life: Youre frustrated and constantly thinking, He doesnt make me feel wanted sexually!. This one may seem obvious, but lots of women brush off sex simply because they dont understand how important it is for their mans mental health.