Dont include personal or financial information like your National Insurance number or credit card details. It can be such a shock so do whatever you need to feel better. I wasn't unduly worried at all. We, I was with my mum, and they scanned and found choroid plexus cysts on the brain, which is just a mark, it's a marker on the brain, it's a, what they call a 'soft marker'. Is it the same scan or is it the same equipment? It felt like a lifetime to reach our 12-week-scan. I am a darker, harder version of myself. I think they perhaps could have done, if they had looked a bit closely. Where we have identified any third party copyright information you will need to obtain permission from the copyright holders concerned. And the local hospital wanted to send us off to the regional hospital to actually confirm that, and were not really prepared to say at that time that there was something very seriously wrong. And I assumed my partner would feel the same. And my partner and I would have a completely different life from the one we'd imagined. And attribute some blame to them. No sort of questions about, 'Do you want to know whether it's a boy or a girl?' The same sense of expectation. I think the whole experience has made me a pretty nasty person. With my oldest it turns out she has a minor thing that affects 1 in 1000 of the population and wont harm her at all it's just "there" and with my second the issue turned out to be nothing. I wanted to let nature take its course. We talked about the different sorts of pain relief I could have and I opted for a morphine drip, which I could control. Has anyone been told the wrong sex at 20 week scan? The thing about that which I felt was difficult is that we could tell when being scanned that there was something very seriously wrong. 18-20 week scans provide clinicians with more information than earlier scans because by18 weeks a healthy baby should be larger and better developed. So I lay on the bed and my partner sat next to me. Though the 18-20 week scan can detect when certain parts of the baby's body have grown abnormally, it may not be possible for clinicians to identify why it has happened or make a firm diagnosis based on the scan alone. She just said, 'It's a bit short, it needs to be checked' again basically. So I no longer trusted my instincts. The hardest thing I have ever done. And then, so I went to my next scan, which was the 20-week abnormality scan, and we took our first child with us, I think he was 17 months old at the time. I give pregnant women dirty looks. Previous scans in this pregnancy and with my first child had been fun - a chance to see the baby wriggling around and perhaps find out its sex. So he went out for a walk. I think at that time she had come to terms better with the fact that this baby was going to be terminated, and I don't think I was quite there. To help us improve GOV.UK, wed like to know more about your visit today. I felt more informed, and I felt that that was what I needed in my head to see you know, that I've got to accept now that this, all these things are real on the screen and this was really my baby that's suffering all these things [sighs], but I was sad as well. Tissue paper will be tucked around your clothing to protect it from the ultrasound gel, which will then be put on your tummy. I went home feeling crushed; Sam and I both felt helpless. I returned to be told they wanted to scan me again, another internal to see exactly what was happening. But other than that everything was fine. We've got the same battle scars. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Because we knew that that wasn't normal, that wasn't what we'd experienced before, it wasn't just the, 'There's the arm, there's the leg, oh look the baby's moving'. We couldn't say we'd lost the baby, because he was still kicking away, but we couldn't pretend everything was fine, either. And I, and, I felt the weight of deciding what to do about it. The chances that anything bad will be discovered are v v small. Saturday came. It was interesting - well it was fantastic to see this fetus and to see this child that was yours that was horribly ill - but you didn't really get much opportunity to see that because the consultant was more about measurements and all sorts of blood flow and various other screens coming up. I had no idea if we were doing the "right" thing. Which is what I'd seen. It was all going wrong and I wanted to get as far away from the hospital as possible. We just couldn't use the words. I think I was about 20 weeks cos they, the hospital I think did the 12 and the 20, that was their standard thing and, yeah, so I got the 20 weeks one. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier diagnostic tests (e.g. It was, 'Oh we'll come back to that'. The results come in stages. Likely to have serious medical problems all his life. That he was small. It is as though our pain means we've earned the right to be taken more seriously. A black and white picture of your baby will then be seen on the ultrasound screen. And they actually asked my husband to come in before they spoke to me. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests. We don't know, but it's not looking good'. But at the 20 week scan, which was on a Wednesday, we saw the nurse at the local hospital, the sonographer, and she did a scan and she found that the femur length was quite short in the, in the fetus. I thought surely everything is ok, as they couldn't detect twins the week before. When he came back, he agreed on a termination. This does not mean there is anything to worry about. I believed at this point I had miscarried, they wanted me to come back I'm for a follow up scan. Some of the conditions that can be seen on the scan will mean the baby may need treatment or surgery after it is born, for example cleft lip. I let out an animal scream and [wife] kind of leapt onto me on the bed. The termination would be averting a tragedy. So I sort of went home quite, fairly kind of happy and I, at, at this point I hadn't any idea things could go wrong anyway. It took 20 minutes to push him out. . I did. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. Sometimes it is difficult to get good views of a baby. I tried to show him the notes and the photos. I couldn't have the added responsibility for changing his mind. This might be uncomfortable. We didn't name him. What would we like to do with the body? You do not have to have the scan. We left the hospital a couple of hours later. However painful and traumatic the labour was, it was better than what would happen at the end of it. I was saving my child from pain and suffering. Trying to carry on as normal, working and putting on a brave face. The scan was inconclusive, but the size of my little bump was measuring a lot smaller than it should have for 10 weeks. Seated in the antenatal clinic with lots of expectant mothers with baby bumps. 17/12/2020 17:13. You've had, you've had your Down's Syndrome check and that's okay. It sounds crazy, but I just knew. It was exactly like the labour I had with my first child. When I told him what had happened, he refused to believe anything was wrong and said he'd sort it out when he came home. Never being able to look after himself. For example, some babies have a condition called open spina bifida, which affects the spinal cord. Very occasionally this second scan cannot be completed, for example because: In this case you will not be offered another screening scan but you will offered an all over physical examination for your baby after birth. And of course some other measurements she needed to take like the width of the skull, which she couldn't take because the fetus was in the wrong position. Why me and not you, you bastard? At first the closeness came through a sense of guilt. You've had your, you know, you've had your triple test and everything was fine. And so we talked about it euphemistically, never saying the word "research". Others said they were shocked because all the early diagnostic tests (e.g. I've realised that being a nice person is a luxury some can't afford. If necessary, you will be referred to a specialist, possibly in another hospital. Within it are a number of recommendations for the communication of findings from ultrasounds. I had to wait for a doctor to explain the situation. The first result, which tells you if the baby has Down's syndrome, is ready in three days, but the other chromosomal problems cannot be eliminated for up to three weeks. Read full disclaimer. Sam followed and I broke down. Parents get a chance to emotionally adapt to news and plan. Christmas came and went in a blur of emotion, it felt so wrong to be celebrating when we were in such turmoil. And I said, I was still laughing, and I thought he was joking with me, and he said now I sort of could tell from his face that by that point he wasn't really joking anymore. Sometimes women were told that the sonographer had found a 'marker' or sign of a chromosomal condition and had to wait for an amniocentesis to confirm the findings. We had the 20 week scan yesterday and got some devastating news. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier . My belly was growing and I was feeling great. It is essential that all practitioners performing fetal anomaly ultrasound screening should be trained to communicate abnormal findings to women, as such information is likely to have significant emotional impact. I noticed the box of tissues on the table. So at least then we went to that next stage prepared for the worst really. And, for a few hours, I'm convinced I've made a terrible mistake. Cardiac surgery can do some amazing things. When I think about how long it took them to deliberate ultimately, maybe not, but it just felt like a bit of a fast food situation, didn't it? It was just sort of deadpan faces, very serious looks, someone else coming to check. I want to enjoy my son again, without any reservations. The consultant had said it wouldn't be like a normal delivery. Somehow, I walked from the sofa up to the bathroom and told my partner. Just doing it. I give obsessively to charity, especially those linked to sick children. I had no issues at my 20wk scan with DD - and neither did any of my antenatal group (9 mums). No, you couldn't see there was anything wrong. And this baby sort of floated, and occasionally there was a slight movement, but it was very you could almost see that he was really poorly just from looking at the screen. We must have had one before that as well, we must have had one before that, but it came back quite normal. Health professionals use the 18-20 week scan to examine the baby's size and position, and also to check if his/her brain, heart, lungs and other internal organs are developing as expected. The scan will find about half (50%) of those babies who have heart defects. Next most likely is that baby doesn't co-operate and they can't see some parts of anatomy and call you back 2 weeks later just because they couldn't see (i had this but because twin pregnancy I was due to be scanned 2 weeks later anyway). But worse was to come. Last updated July 2017. So that just left the talipes. Can you remember that minute. No one else ever met the object of my grief. After half an hour of lying on the bed, I was starting to get nervous, but was excited to find out that the baby would be a boy and that I could see his little heart beating strongly. I came back probably about 17 weeks pregnant and had the anomaly scan at 20 weeks and like most people expected everything to be fine and to come away with a lovely picture but unfortunately that isn't what happened. Many people were deeply affected by their experiences of the 20-week and subsequent specialist scans. 26/09/2019 22:46. The pain was excruciating, but nothing compared to how I felt inside. So obviously quite relaxed. So, in the end, we said we would arrange our own funeral. There was cause for concern. For once in my life, I had been organised. So had to come back in a week's time for a scan, which again is quite a common thing I found out. I did think it was a bit strange that she wasn't talking, and then she sort of said, 'Oh, I think there's a problem. Actually you could tell from the brain development as he scanned up through the chambers of the brain, that one quarter of the brain, one chamber was not evident. Though the 18-20 week scan can detect when certain parts of the baby's body have grown abnormally, it may not be possible for clinicians to identify why it has happened or make a firm diagnosis based on the scan alone. Seeing your baby on a screen can be really exciting. Apologise for somehow doubting their right to be in this world. The consultant at the time wasn't really that interested in that imagery. He was tiny, perfect and a Down's syndrome baby. Later, I did see and hold our baby. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). So she said, 'Come back on Monday. And that was Monday afternoon. And in this instance the scan was very evident that there was something very seriously wrong. That they could have spotted something, or not? Try to relax and take it easy. So I was, they couldn't actually finish the scan then, the baby was moving around too much, so they couldn't scan the heart and the stomach. I then had to wait in the room along with many other patients for an hour so they could observe me. Some say this estimate is really below the reality, and the out-of-pocket average costs are higher. And she said that, you know, as the, if the baby did develop further there would probably be other problems with internal organs that weren't really that visible at that stage. Sometimes a post mortem was needed to confirm the 20-week diagnosis to see if the baby had inherited a genetic problem (such as Fowler syndrome - see 'Resources'). I was becoming numb to the whole process. And I could see, before she even said anything I could see that there was something wrong with the heart. While some parents understood the clinician's restraint - even when they had to wait an hour or more for a definite diagnosis - others disliked being kept in suspense and wanted to be told what the clinician was thinking.
